Adult Education 101

1. Stand up straight and walk as though you have a purpose in life; or find one.

2. Lead, follow, or get out of the way; especially in the grocery store.

3. Keep your mouth shut. It’s better to be silent and thought a fool, then to speak and remove all doubt. Whoever said that certainly knew what they were talking about.

4. Think before you speak. What comes out the mouth reflects “what” as much as “who” you are.

5. When you do open your mouth, let the words out. The incessant muttering of ‘a ra, a ra’; ah, ah’ and ‘um, um um-ma, dotted with the sporadic yo’ sounds like a body in gastric distress.

6. While strolling around town talking into cyberspace, remember you look the same as the other schizophrenics who claim to hear voices, except you’re wearing the antenna.

7. 50-year-old hips don’t look good on a bar stool.

8. Grow-up.