GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDDAUGHTER
LESSONS LEARNED

I was distressed to learn that my granddaughter received a school suspension. Especially because she knows full well that I take a very dim view of bad behavior. However, after closer inspection of the circumstances that created the infraction, not only am I in league with her, but I commend her for standing up for herself.

In your efforts to enforce a blanket “no fighting” school policy, I wish to draw attention to other factors of which you may not be aware that contributed to her response.

My granddaughter is being groomed to pursue a life of excellence; high standards are expected and lofty goals are encouraged. She is taught that under no circumstances is any boy or any man who is not her father allowed to touch her person. Her body belongs to her; she has been taught to protect herself and to defend her at all cost. She is wise beyond her years because she has learned to overcome adversity without sacrificing her self esteem. Inherent in her African-American culture is the prohibition and an offense for anyone outside the culture to touch, without permission, her hair: such behavior is tantamount to using the “N” word!

It seems that teaching children (young people) to respect and observe boundaries has gone “out of fashion.” Nevertheless, the consequences of this lapse in academic judgment appear daily in our national news headlines.

In the real world, unwanted touching by another is called sexual harassment. It can cost a person their job. In the adult world, when a woman says “stop” she means it. Rape and spousal abuse are crimes of epidemic proportion against women. These sad outcomes are often the result of the failure of those in authority to educate young men and boys to respect women and observe their boundaries.

My granddaughter, in childlike innocence, has acknowledged her part in participating in “horseplay.” I hope that you and your school system will acknowledge your missed opportunity to teach that women and girls deserve respect and can be expected to defend them. Further, that men and boys need to keep their hands where they belong: to themselves.

              - By Grandmother aka, Sista’ Mean

Click here to contact me.